Get all 37 Michael Crafter releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Honking at The Hamo, Shitting in the Park, Beer, Glorious Beer!, Holiday at the Hockshop, split EP w/ Urethra Stockade, Cum Sock split EP, Michael Crafter // Durry Split, Dark Horse // Michael Crafter split tape, Live @ Petersham Bowling Club, and 29 more.
1. |
Vegan Bake Sale
01:00
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Cupcake
Muffin
Vegan Bake Sale
is dumb
10% off merch sales
I'm all for getting baked
but not in the pit
Vegan treats can suck my dick
I don’t want your cookie
I don't want a cookie
You bake like a rookie
You don't get me high
I came here to mosh
I don't want a cookie
You bake like a rookie
And your buzzing my vibe
Cupcake cupcake
Bake
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2. |
#420Bennies
00:37
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I’m smoking a bong
I’m smoking a bong
I’m smoking a bong
I’m punching cones
I’m punching cones
I’m fucking stoned
Roll a joint
Smash it in your face
Roll a joint
Smash it in your fucking face
I just wanna be like The Bennies
Bennies Bennies #Bennies420
Blaze it
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3. |
Rail and Bail
00:59
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I hate to rail and bail
I hate to rail and bail
I don’t care if I end up in jail
I eat dexys
But I want a Ritalin
I rail and I won’t get over it
I want a ritalin
I want a rail
I want a ritalin ritalin rail
Smash it to pieces
Smash it to bits
Just don’t you dare play any fucking raised fist
I’ve got a pinger dick and its getting limp
I can’t feel you in my fingertips
I love ritalin
I love dexys
Smash it into bits
Pill Dick
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4. |
Fear and Doubt
00:24
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Do you even realise
That you’re living under compromise?
Fear and Doubt
Will always hold you back
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5. |
Mouthbreather
00:53
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You are a mouthbreather
You breath from your mouth
Your babies look the same
You are what the world is to blame
Oxygen thief
You stole my heart
You stole my air
Now I cant breath
This has gone on for too long
Stiff shit if your lungs go wrong
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6. |
Footy
00:24
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Me and my mates we’re pretty tough
When we play footy
we play rough
Me and my mates were pretty fast
work out for stereosonic
so we can last
Wednesday night fannys
heaps of pre mix and all the chix
Me and my mates
we shelve pills
He does mine first
then i do his
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7. |
Tour
00:20
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I work out when I’m on tour
I drink Teh Oh Ais to keep pure
Never smoke Premiums, Gudans or Winstons
Only eat the tofu that’s vegan
On my day off i hit the gym
Cos im a straight edge touring machine
But only tour Europe to keep it clean
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8. |
Lofi or Die II
01:31
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I want my grind lo-fi
Fuck your false grind
Clean sounds really suck
Keep it nice and rough
Lo-fi or Die
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9. |
Pinger Dick
00:49
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Putting pingers in your dick
Shoving them up till they dont stick
Shelving Mushiess
In a pot plant full of shit
Cum stains won’t come off my sheet
Railing ritalin
It’s all pingers and dingers
Till they are fucking stingers
It’s all pingers and dingers
You can stay all high but that will never get you by
Pinger dick
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10. |
Hipster on a Fixie
00:59
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Hipster
On A
Fixie
You think you look cool on that piece of shit
You let all your friends know that you’re legit
Suffering the single gear
Dismounting every time a hill is near
Style over substance
Time and Time again
Get a bike with gears
You shit me to tears
This is Sydney, not Melbourne
Your fixie don’t belong here
You shit me to tears
Hipster on a fixie
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11. |
Wil Wagner
01:04
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Wil Wagner wrecked my mosh shorts what a cunt
Too big for medium
Too big for house shows
Poppy Seed Ice Tea
Supports Lagwagon
What a cunt
Hiked all the way to Adelaide
Got stuck at a truck stop
Now my mosh shorts are stuck at a Salvos
Not at a mosh show
What a cunt
Wash your own dishes you can’t cunt.
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12. |
Grind New Jack
00:59
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You’re just a grind new jack
Give your scene points back
Do you even know
The Red Shore
You know nothing of grindcore
You’re just a grind new jack
An over-hyped internet hack
You don’t even know how to grind
I don’t even know why you try
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13. |
Tuff Dad
00:57
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Will the pram fit in the tour van
I don’t mean for the others in the band
But bring the family man
I got a job to support my kin
Its called liftin’ weights and tourin’
And on the first day of school I’ll break down
Please make friends at school
But only those who are crucial
And if any tuff cunts are mean
Send em to Perf I’m waitin for em
And on the night of prom
I’m so happy yet still I’ll frown
Cos im a fucking tuff dad
Gotta be stern, gotta get mad
Tuff dad
Tuff dad
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14. |
Crusty Strumpet
00:30
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Crusty strumpet
Haven’t showered for days
Growing hair
In between lays
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15. |
Picking My Nose
00:22
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Picking my nose at the lights
Sending a text at the lights
Having a perv at the lights
Booking a show at the lights
I get so much done at the fuckin lights
I even wrote this song at the lights
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16. |
Crew Poo
00:43
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Keeping safe in my crew
Is what I like to do
I don’t care about the rest of you
Suck balls and eat my poo
Eat my poo
Eat my poo
Holding hands under the cubicle dividers
Youth crew
Crew poo
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17. |
Charl Mangy
01:27
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Smoking bongs
Drinking Beam
Charl Mangy
Fuck you Charl Mangy
Ripped off our faces
Tripping over laces
Bong water chasers
Weed caught in braces
Buy Tun in cases
Railing ritalin
Wearing thongs
Pissing arse
Charl Mangy
Smoking bongs
Drinking Beam
Charl Mangy
Charl Mangy
Charl Mangy
Fuck you Charl Mangy fuck you
Fuck you Charl Mangy fuck you
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18. |
Scene Beef
03:05
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All these politics have gone on for too long
Who gives a fuck, who did what wrong.
All this whinging and whining, it’s getting in the way
It's getting in the way of all our pills and partying
Forget your ego
You ain't the hero
We ain't the tuff guys
Drinking all the beer
Do what you want
Don’t hurt anyone
When people from the same scene beef
It’s called scene beef
All this whinging and whining it's getting in the way
Of all our pills and partying
I don’t want to see you again even though we have the same friends
I don’t want to see you again unless we make amends
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19. |
Bong Breaker
00:41
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Kicked outta pub
In a rage break the bong
All over the place
Gimme that cone
I need to be a stone
Listening to lo-fi grind tapes
Spilling beer all over the place
Fuck you stupid seco cunts
I might be old but I party ten fold
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Michael Crafter Sydney, Australia
Sydney Punk Grind since 2009
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